I don’t know why I have been dragging my feet on writing about Finn’s birth. It seems so fresh still. It was a long labor, emotional, hard and yet on April 24th it was one of the third happiest days of our lives. We got what we had been praying for, a little baby, straight from Heaven.
With my first baby I didn’t really have a a birth plan or my mind made up on the birth. I knew that I wanted to maybe try to have her natural. But I wasn’t really prepared. After my water broke I went to the hospital and the contractions started to get uncomfortable. My mom was there, both of my sisters, my grandma, my mother in-law and sister in-law and Kevin of course. I knew that I would have to make all of them leave if I did it natural because it would not be pretty. I wanted everyone to be there and had not planned on my mother in-law staying and sister in-law but once they were there I wanted them to be apart of it. I knew my sister in-law wouldn’t get to see anyone else have a baby and it is beautiful to watch, I got to watch my sister have two of her babies. I loved having everyone in the room with us, so I got the epidural. I couldn’t feel my legs for hours after and I couldn’t feel to push, I only had to push a handful of times, but I didn’t know what I was doing and this may be TMI but I had horrible hemorrhoids after, the kind that you cant sit or walk without being in horrible pain for weeks after, I think from not pushing correctly. I knew after that experience I wanted to read more and try to have my others natural. I know it is not the choice of everyone and people think it is crazy to not get an epidural with modern medicine today, but it was what I wanted to do for my body. And aren’t we blessed to be able to make that choice for ourselves.
My water broke on Saturday April 23rd at 10:30 pm. We were ready for him to come. I had a doctors appointment that previous Wednesday. My doctor wasn’t going to check me to see how I was progressing, but I asked her to. My husband works with a professional soccer team and they had a game in Philly that Saturday the 23rd. He was planning on going. It made me nervous to have him away so I wanted the reassurance from the doctor that it was getting close (and yes I know that her telling me my dilation really means nothing, but it would to my husband). She told me I was dilated to a 3 and totally thinned out and she said that he was really low in my pelvis. I guess those were the magic words to get my husband to stay home.
We spent that Saturday walking around a lot, walked to the beach and to lunch. Our girls went to a carnival on the beach with some friends and my hubby and I watched the soccer game and relaxed, I felt like something was going to happen that day. I actually got a towel from the bathroom and laid it down on the bed right before I was going to go to sleep and then my water broke. It wasn’t a pop or a big gush like it was with my first, it was more like I couldn’t stop going to the bathroom. My hubby immediately got excited and started doing things, I don’t know what things but just seemed busy. We called our friends who were going to watch our girls and decided to take them over at 11:00 pm rather than 3:00 in the morning when my contractions could be getting close. He drove the girls over and I didn’t want them to leave, I felt bad waking them up and dragging them to a fiends when nothing was happening with my contractions.
I went back to bed, or tried rather. I don’t know really how much I slept. I woke up at 5:30 am and had a piece of toast. We finally called my Doctor, told her my water broke and I wasn’t having any contractions. I personally just wanted to go for a walk but she told us to eat something and come in. Oh how I wish I would have listened and ate something. Instead we got somewhat ready and headed to the hospital.
When we got there they wanted to do a test to see if my water had actually broke. They concluded that it had and they admitted me. I was a little disappointed that my contractions had not started. But I was ready to get something started, I had my “Mom” bracelet that Lola made me, I knew that it would give me strength and courage when I looked at it.
When my water broke with Ella, my first baby I had her about four hours later. Something that I learned from this delivery is that no deliveries are the same.
When my water broke we had called my Mom and Dad, who live in Utah. They checked flights and found a flight that would put them at JFK airport in New York at 2:00 pm. I told my doctor that my parents were headed our way but they wouldn’t make it for the delivery, I had high hopes for a fast delivery.
They started me on pitocin about 9:30 am. We walked around the halls pulling the IV of pitocin, sat on the exercise ball and listened to my hypno birthing. I was having contractions, but they were manageable. I think around 1:00 pm my Doctor came in and wanted to check me because nothing was really happening. She checked me and I was still at a 3. I hated hearing that, and she could feel a water sack where his head was. She broke the water sack and thought that I had a high-leak when my water broke, leaving that water sack still there and that is why my contractions had not started fully. After she did that they increased the pitocin and things got moving.
My Mom and Dad made it to the Hospital, I was so happy to see them, but discouraged that it was already 5:00 pm and I had not met my baby yet. My contractions were in my hips and lower back and very intense. By this time I was strictly on the exercise ball. My husband, who was my strength was applying pressure to my hips as the contractions would come. We were sitting at an angle that I could see my contractions on the monitor and also watch Finn’s heartbeat. Along with watching those two things I could see the other woman’s contractions who was in the room next to me. She was progressing a little quicker than I was, her contractions were right on top of each other and then we heard some yelling/crying/screaming and then a baby crying and then we knew she was snuggling her new baby. I should not have been watching that or a clock. It was discouraging and I was just comparing her situation to mine and watching the day go by with pain and no baby.
My Doctor came in to talk to me and see how I was. I told her I was starving, like I did every time she came in the room and asked her if I could eat something. Then I told her I wanted to quit and I was so over this. I was in a lot of pain with the contractions and exhausted and by the way hungry….no HANGRY. She checked me and I was dilated to a 7 and it was maybe about 6:30 pm. I started to cry. I felt like I should be at a 10, I had been doing it long enough and the contractions were so close, less than a minute apart and lasting for maybe 20 seconds. I guess I just needed to cry because she brought me in some ice-cream, it did help my spirits and gave me a little energy. But the contractions were still so intense. My husband was being so strong for me and helpful with every contraction that were right after the other.
He brought my card over to me that Lola had drawn for me and told me I could do it and that I was so strong. He said all of the things that we had talked about, that my body was made for this, God has a plan and this was part of his plan. All of that did help and makes me cry thinking about it now. I was very zoned in with each contraction and trying to “ride the wave” as they say on my hypno birthing cd “the wave comes in and goes out” but I was so over it, I wanted the wave to stay out and I was tired of swimming. I said I wanted an epidural. The dreaded thing I did not want to say and I wanted it NOW!
It was getting close to 6:45 pm. They brought in the anastisologist and prepped me, I don’t think my husband thought I would do it or my Doctor. But I did. I sat very still and squeezed my doctors hands and my moms, Kevin almost fainted watching me get it done (he deals with this type of thing in his job, but he said it was watching it happen to me that made him sick, very sweet of him) they gave me the shot for the ephidural. I cant believe that I was able to hold still. They did it in-between contractions, that were coming right on top of each other. I had two while sitting up waiting for the shot. They had me lay flat after the shot and she gave me a “small dose” whatever that was. I could still feel everything. And was getting frustrated. I wanted it to be over. I told me doctor I could feel pressure and she said good, that means you aren’t feeling the contractions anymore. I said “no, I can feel his head, check me, I want to push.” And sure enough she looked and said “oh yes I see him!” They put my legs up and I held onto them and pushed twice and out came baby Finn, about 10 minutes after I had the epidural.
He was so handsome, and had some hair! I really wanted him to have some hair, oh and be very healthy, funny how we think of silly things like hair. I was exhausted. They laid him on me and I was just in complete shock that it was over and I was holding him. He was born at 7:30 pm and weighed 7 lbs 15 oz.
Looking back I could question everything, and believe me I did. Should I have not gotten the epidural? Should I have went to a birthing center? Should I have done this or that?
All I know is I did what was best for me at the moment and there was a positive outcome, I got a healthy happy baby.
I know that the epidural if anything helped to distract me and give me some hope. I was getting very discouraged and negative, I was just worn out. And truthfully all I could think about was the next part, the transition and the “ring of fire.” I felt that so intensely with my second baby Lola, who I had natural and with pitocin as well. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around feeling more pain. Luckily with Finn I think he transitioned fast and he was already so low in my hips with all of the hip and lower back contractions that I didn’t feel the ring of fire as intensely. I was able to get up and walk around after I nursed him for the first time and go to the bathroom. I had no side effects from the epidural. I didn’t take any pain medication after he was born, nothing compared to the labor pains so I could handle anything.
We are all pretty much smitten with this little man. Our daughters are over the moon and the biggest helpers that I could ask for. They are so loving and patient with him.
Kevin is beaming in this picture, I love everything about it.
My Mom and of course Lola not letting him out of her reach.
Proud Grandpa, my Dad.
Bright eyed and ready to take on this world and we are here to encourage and love him along the way. He is now almost three weeks old. He sleeps so well at night and nurses like a little champ. Amazing how with each baby it gets easier and easier, thankfully there is a little reward for bringing more children into this world. I also feel the best I have ever felt after having a baby, I pray that it stays this way and pray for how thankful I am. I did crossfit on average six days a week with Finn, I did workout with my girls but maybe three days a week and a lot less intense. Who knows why exactly, but I will take it!
I wanted to share my favorite sources for natural child birth and just education on child birth.
Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth (My bible, I loved this book)
The Business of Being Born (I watched this on Netflix)
The Birth Hour Podcasts (I binge listened to all of these)
His personalized blanket and little bear hats are my favorite from Woolf With Me (shown in the first picture)